One month

One month ago our baby girl was born, our hopes and dreams were dashed and we were filled with heartache and sorrow. :( 

It feels like so much longer. I really can't believe its only been a month.Sigh I/We miss her so much. I try not to cry in front of Craig about her. I dont want to upset him. Even though he doesnt care if I do but I dont think he wats to be reminded about it all the time. Because once we start we get onto the feeling ripped off and why's and what if's. 

Also today I made my first appearance back at Monash. It wasn't as bad as I'd thought it would be. Ingrid and I took the basket of stuff up to the birth suite and met Kat (MW) there. The reason I was there is because Ingrid nominated Kat for an award within Southern Health and she was one of five winners for the March quarter. Ingrid did a lovely entry for her and I teared up when the man was reading it out. How caring and compassionate she was for a patient who lost their baby during labour. Kat deserved that award so much. In my eyes she deserves more than that. She went beyond the call of duty. Taking photos for us, putting them on disks, staying behind 2 hours after her shift had finished because I was being discharged. Theres so much more she has done which I could never thank her enough for. Today she gave me this photo she took at Phi Phi Island in Thailand. She wrote her name in the sand. Cried like a bitch when I got home after Ingrid left. 

Isn't it beautiful?? I love it so much.

Also ladies from the BB forum all pitched in and got us this beautiful painting on a canvas.

 

It is absolutely gorgeous. Again I cried like a bitch :/ Ive decided when I finally get to take a baby home (please soon) that Ill put it up under the cot. It will be like she is looking over her brother/sister.

I love these photos of Hayley and Craig <3