Wow been awhile hasn't it.
Just been plodding along really. My sister arrived last night from Perth for a couple of weeks. Been good to have her here, taking my mind of things. But tonight I dunno what has set me off, I cant stop thinking about her, about what I'm missing out on. Just had a shower so I could have a good cry. :(
On Thursday I went to Craig's work to have lunch with him and I saw his bosses wife there. We had lunch blah blah the boys went back to work and we sat there talking.. and she asked how I was and that was it the tears flowed. We talked for about an hour. I think I needed it, to talk to someone else you know. I also made my first trip to Southland after that. Was hard actually, children everywhere :( Everyone except me seemed to have a baby or be pregnant.
On Friday a girl from work rang and we went out for lunch at a cafe in Mordialloc. It was alright, wasn't really in the mood but I dragged myself out anyway. When I got home about a half an hour after Kevin from SIDS and Kids rang and omg did I need to talk to someone. Blabbed on about stuff for an hour with him. Felt bad for wasting his time really, probably so many other mums out there that need him too.
Man, I just want her back. Just a cuddle but I know I couldn't stop at that. I want her back forever. Its not fucking fair. I'm over it.
I'm going to the GP tomorrow. I'm not sleeping well :( I guess for a 6 week check up too and a referral to see Dr Lawrence again. I just have to try and think positive to the future like Craig tells me to. Fuck its hard, how does he do it because at times like this I can't.
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